My (Most Recent) Tough Spiritual Lesson
My (Most Recent) Tough Spiritual Lesson
How spiritual growth has showed up in my life through unexpected means.
Could also be titled: Walking The Spiritual Talk AF
Or: Behind-the-Scenes Metaphysical World Crap
When my website (this one you're on) debuted in 2011, I was both ecstatic and anxious because there were no other websites on consciousness out there. Hard to imagine now as there are many excellent websites featuring consciousness topics, which is thrilling to see it evolve into an important topic. A lot of blogs back then were focused on self-help, lifestyle, food, inspiration, crafts, astrology, and more. I hadn’t found a spiritual website on consciousness, so who knew what would come of this idea.
I started studying astrology in 1993 when I had my first professional reading for my 16th birthday. Then my spiritual awakening began in 2002, so I had nearly 20 years of information to start sharing or putting out there – if I was ready? I felt a surging YES and knew it was time to go for it. Within months, people found the website, signed up for emails, joined the membership area (now closed), enrolled in astrology classes, and asked for personal sessions. All great feedback! Good to see that this content was useful and connecting with people.
Yet as my website grew in homepage views and blog sharing, I started to be targeted by someone with a bigger following who duplicated what I offered. It could only loosely be called “plagiarism” (in legal terms) yet it was all too close for comfort to me. It smelled wrong. I had never followed her, or even knew what she was doing; I never read her books or even visited her website. I wasn’t interested in her work because I had been there-done that years ago. In other words, she was never on my radar, but somehow I ended up on hers. I found out about it through other people. I paid it very little attention at the time and stayed focused on what I could create, offer, and share in the world, including publishing my first book.
Then a trend started to emerge. When I would discuss a topic or mention a spiritual teaching, within weeks she would be credited with very-very similar words in a social media post that was shared and popped up on my newsfeed. She has a much bigger following than I so her words went further than mine. I could find an objective perspective for all of this, as other people are allowed to talk about anything they want and it could be similar to what I shared. None of us 'owns' a topic. Fair enough. No big deal. Yet after 5 times of witnessing this, I didn’t think it was just a coincidence.
When the Conscious Wisdom Festival was gaining momentum in 2011 and 2012 (an online summit I created, produced, and hosted with numerous spiritual experts), she was part of a similar online summit with her Cool Metaphysical Kids who planned their last-minute event one week prior to mine. They used my event’s emails and testimonials as their own.
When I was approached to support a person, project, or company and I agreed, she would show up as partnering with them months later. After 4 times of this happening, it was not simply a coincidence. Out of all of the people, events, websites, and programs that are out there in the world, why was she always exactly where I was?
When my spiritual memoir, The Art of Trapeze debuted back in 2013, it actually took me 3 different attempts to figure out how to get a book out there into more hands. A book launch, especially for a first time author, was much harder than I thought. So I read, researched, studied, and asked questions about how other authors did it. After months of studying book marketing approaches, I finally figured out something that could possibly work. It blew me away to have over 22,000 downloads the first day, with a total of 28,000+ downloads come through over the next few days. I posted about it on my blog and social media accounts out of sheer shock and gratitude that people had downloaded it.
Then the 1-star reviews started coming in that were direct personal attacks at me and had nothing to do with the memoir. I received rude Facebook comments, mean email messages, and some of my most popular FB posts were reported as spam. One post with over 26,000 shares had disappeared. When I inquired with Facebook about this, they said it was reported by x number of people – the same number in her girl group.
I could be objective enough to see that when you become more successful, other people who want that same thing you obtained get competitive, or jealous, or they want to take you down because they feel threatened in some way. This happens in all industries, and the metaphysical world is no exception. Every person on the planet has an ego (except Elmo, perhaps). It all comes with the territory of working in the public sphere. It happens to many people, and it can be far, far worse. Receiving 1-star reviews is part of being an author; it comes with the job. Not everyone is cheering you on. The haters show up when you start to get a lot of love. I could handle it all much better with this knowingness. I gave it time and just took deep breaths to step back. This too shall pass, Molly. Don’t be too attached. Keep working. Keep going.
Privately, I cried. A lot.
On a human level – on a heart level – it fuckin’ sucked. Every step forward felt like two steps back, professionally. To be *obsessively* targeted in such a way really rocked me. I didn’t *do* anything to her, and yet I was on the receiving end of such terrible stuff that I felt powerless around. (Separation Consciousness)
I experienced these rolling feelings of powerlessness, anger, pain, hurt. I felt continually sabotaged and like a victim because I had done nothing to her: I never followed her, never read her books, and had never held any animosity to her. I knew she existed in this industry and that she was helping many people. She is mass market; I am more niche. Individually, we offer people more information to help them on their journeys. She does her thing over there… I do my thing over here. To each their own.
A friend texted me that this person was on Dr. Oz talking about the same subjects I had just covered. “Molly, didn’t you just talk about that on your radio show last week? I swear she’s saying exactly what you said... even down to the same word choice.” Perhaps that is so, and once again it was way too close for comfort, but I would try to remain objective. TV shows can be taped in advance; maybe it was yet another coincidence. There was a definite pattern of this behavior from one person, but how do you prove it legally?
Plagiarism is not simply in written form. It can be spoken words, teachings, guided meditations, radio show topics, and the general sharing of information that did not originate with one person, yet it is loosely repurposed for other means. An ongoing pattern of this behavior makes it even clearer. However, chances are high that if you are interested in what I share and teach, you wouldn't come across it because our audiences tend to not overlap. She works with "newbies", and I support and guide people who have already been on their spiritual path for a bit. It's the difference between elementary school and college, and why would you visit a school that does nothing for you?
There were times when it all felt futile. What was the point of doing all of this work and creating my own content when it appeared to regularly be whisked away by someone else? Writing a book is a lot of work; maintaining a website with new offerings can be challenging; creating online courses takes more time than you expect; and everything online these days can easily be re-purposed by people with nasty intentions. Not to mention the actual years of studying, working, and experiencing what it means to walk a spiritual path. The best outcome you hope for is that what you teach reaches people who can benefit from it and know that they can come back to you for more information and answers.
I kept hearing "ponzi scheme" with this energy dynamic, too. A Plagiarism Ponzi Scheme where someone intentionally takes, takes, takes and believes they have a right to do so because they have the power, connections, influence, and ego to keep it up. The energy around this increases to the point where they believe they actually own the content because they are "in control" of it and can manipulate others into believing it, too. Yet when that fateful knock comes on the door from the Universe, they can't support what they've created because it's all an illusion, a sham. And it is their followers who pay the price through loss of trust and doubting what they learned in the first place.
So on it went. She attacked me personally behind-the-scenes and in private circles, such as crazy claims that I was the one who had copied or plagiarized her (or something along those lines). I went ballistic. The bully pretending to be the victim? Manipulation at its finest right there. My response to those ridiculous claims is very simple: Go ahead and check my Kindle, check my bookshelves, check my IP address, check my browsing history, check my inbox, check my computer, check my brain - you'll find absolutely nothing related to her work, website, books, anything because I've never followed her and her work offers me nothing of value.
Some days, I really admired ostriches. Just look at their wonderful ability to hide their heads in a comfortable, warm hole and enjoy splendid moments of ignorance. Ignorance is bliss. Then I'd stop trying to access my Inner Ostrich and snap back to the work at hand. Inner lion, Molly! Inner tiger. Inner bear. Inner unicorn!
A few really great people I had on my radio show as guests wouldn’t follow up, and then it became clear why… they often had a connection to her. Due to her influence and high-level network, she was able to shut down potential opportunities for me with THEE biggest people in the spiritual industry. I heard it happen. I cried. My heart sank even lower. People who had no clue who I even was heard untrue negative things about "me" from her with the intention of damaging my professional reputation. She was ruthless.
And so the bullshit continued. I'll spare you the other examples. But clearly there was an ongoing pattern of abuse, obsessive targeting, and intentional harm directed at me that she perpetuated for years.
The message I felt was... It is not safe to be myself in this industry.
Because by being myself, I am attacked, stalked, and targeted. She has the power, influence, connections, and status; I do not.
Now, I understand that it is normal to tell me to ‘fight back’ and ‘take legal action’ and ‘stand up for yourself’. I agree – and I did the best I could with each of those tactics. If only it were that simple, and it wasn’t, unfortunately. There are certain elements that need to be proven legally, and that can be tricky with online material that is re-purposed. Taking legal action would have involved spending a lot of money on lawyers with most likely very little to show for it, since it is harder to prove what is needed or even get people to speak on the record. It was like walking in quick sand and continually sinking down deeper with every step forward. (Earth Consciousness)
This is also how I knew it was a spiritual lesson because the "typical ways" of fighting were not effective or applicable. All I could do was surrender, keep detaching, and keep going.
So I clung to a driving belief:
The truth rises.
The truth always rises.
It may not happen quickly, or clearly. It could take years. It could be happening slowly in ways you never know. It doesn’t even have to be something you see; it could just be a feeling that the truth is living out there and it eventually rises up into the light because that is what truth is made to do. It lives and breathes with purer air.
During those six years of being targeted and sabotaged behind-the-scenes by “spiritual” people who didn’t know me, I kept my head down and worked. I focused on what I could control and what I could do with my energy. There are situations in life that are hurtful and we have no control over them…yes, we all know that is part of life. So what can I do today? I always had control over my energy: my ability to write, teach, share, podcast, create, and essentially carry on with my driving purpose. I put my energy into relationships with clients, peers, and really, really great people. I only talked about this situation with two people I trusted. I wouldn't let it consume any more conversations than that, nor allow it be a gossip thing.
She was trying to take me down, and off of my path. She has done that to others, mind you. She could have really stopped me on this path if I didn't already have a strong spiritual foundation that reminded me that I was here to be of service to many, and that decision was mine to continually choose, bitches be damned.
Just carry on, Molly.
So I decided to play it smarter. I held back publishing a few of my books. I only posted 40% of my work publicly and withheld a majority of it for my clients only. I took screenshots of my FB posts in case they went missing. I downloaded all of my radio shows/podcasts so they couldn't be reported or removed. I reported and banned harassing lame people on FB. I denied sessions with people who were trying to get on my calendar with bad intentions. I kicked people out of a few classes who were snooping around maliciously. I shut down my communications to mutual people who were connected with her, trusting that if we needed to re-connect when all of this cleared out, then it would happen on its own.
One time, I made myself devilishly smile by publishing a hidden article on a spiritual topic filled with false info. It was just waiting for her or her assistant to grab it and take it back to their community. I do not feel any guilt around that.
I had sessions with trusted healers to clear what was mine while not naming names. I asked, “What the fuck is her deal?” quite regularly. Talk about being given a huge opportunity to practice the Law of Detachment.
I prayed. Show me. Show me what I need to know and learn from this.
I was willing to claim whatever was mine in this dynamic, whether that was from other lifetimes when I was a bitch or a crazy lunatic or whatever role I played. I was willing to own it, even if I didn’t understand it, just to be sure I was covering all the bases and knocking on every door to find the answers I needed.
I practiced Ho’oponopono.
I continually let go of any expectations I was holding, consciously or unconsciously.
I asked for guidance and clarity about the best next steps.
I prayed to heal my own wounds around this situation.
I took lots of long walks and deep breathes and exercised.
I felt gratitude for everything I had created and accomplished on my own.
I made sure to get out of my own head and keep focusing on how I could help other people, like my awesome clients and trusted friends. Your own mind can be a really terrible place to hang out at times.
I checked my own ego at the door: Molly, you don't have to prove anything. You don't have to fight for anything. You don't have to engage. Just be. Just keep going.
And I strengthened my connection to God/Spirit/Source because I know that is my true connection to what is best for me going forward. No one else can duplicate, attack, or sabotage that connection except myself. Her deep powers of darkness would not diminish my high powers of light.
I declared that it WAS safe to be myself in this industry and not let her external power overtake my internal power.
I kept clearing out the anger, pain, or hurt that came up in me. I made peace with the fact that if really popular “spiritual” people were like this, and not even walking their talk, then I am deeply grateful I didn’t work with them or appear on their programs or shows or events. Everything is energy, so clearly there wouldn’t be a fit. I was proud to be different, then. I was damn proud to not be a Cool Metaphysical Kid because that shit is not cool at my lunch table.
I wouldn’t let one person’s ultra-competitive behavior stop me from what I am here to do. Hell to the NO.
So why am I sharing all of this now?
Because in late 2017, this woman’s attacking energy was finally gone from my world. The person who had been staring at me with binoculars and a rifle had left the building (yeah, that’s the image I got, bleh). After 6 years of stalking, sabotaging, and targeting me, she was truly out of my energy field.
I felt it so clearly one morning; it was AMAZING. Oh, how I wish I could describe it for you... My whole being was light and free; like I could stretch my arms out and move and LIVE and there was nothing staring back at me. I called a good friend and she knew exactly what I meant. It had finally ended. I wish I could put the sensation of freedom into better words for you.
Through my years of writing, publishing and sharing, I never held any expectations of fitting in with the Big Name Metaphysical Kids and sitting at their lunch table. That’s not really who I am; I tend to get impatient with crowds, corporations, and restrictions. I like the freedom to do my own thing. I work fast and I don't want to be held back.
Yet a small part of me acknowledges that maybe some really awesome opportunities were shut down to me because of the slander and attacks on my professional reputation.
Maybe a few other things could have unfolded that would have reached and helped more people. There were things I dreamed about, like we all probably do, and those dreams just were not to be.
There is disappointment that this individual took opportunities away from me.
But hey - maybe those opportunities weren’t a good fit for me in the long run, anyways. Perhaps something else is underway?
I’ll never know, and it doesn’t matter now. That wasn't my path. This lesson was my path. I simply intended to write books on topics that I hoped could help people, and offer useful spiritual guidance to whomever was attracted to it. I’m proud of what I’ve created and shared over the years. It’s been filled with many highlights that I’m grateful for, and there is more I hope to complete and share soon.
Gratefully, I have learned and healed a lot. (Heart Consciousness)
With this experience, I was given the opportunity to practice neutrality and detachment even more. I do not feel like a victim or powerless anymore. I know what is mine - not from an egoic sense, but from an energy sense - cannot be taken, or duplicated, or stolen. And I can always go get more of my own energy and inspirations at any time, 24/7, as that supply is unlimited for all of us.
I hold no animosity towards her because I can also see how much she is struggling with her own inner stuff that has nothing to do with me – and it never did. Yet when we are on the receiving end of malicious attacks, well, that sets up a whole other dynamic.
At times we are really pushed to stand stronger in our own selves and trust our own path no matter how other people are responding to that. Since this was an ongoing experience that lasted for multiple years, I certainly ebbed and flowed with my inner strength. Even when I crumbled, I rose back up and kept going because at the end of the day, I know who I am; I know what I'm here to do; and I have work to do. Keep going.
I also found more peace with the understanding that she is the archetype of a certain female energy that I needed to experience in order to master it more fully. This archetype attacks out of the smaller places within her because there is a huge gap between her own sense of self-worth, self-love, and self-acceptance. I don’t even think she’s a horrible person; I believe she is a beautiful person who has some really deep level self-value stuff to heal - but that is none of my business, really. If my mere existence on the planet triggered her to see that she needs to own her dark and light even more, then that is her choice and her path. I hope she takes more wisdom to her millions of followers so they can benefit from that kind of growth, too.
This was a huge soul wound imprint healing for me, which I've written about in this book.
You know you've deeply healed from something really hard and difficult when you experience emotional neutrality around it. When you can witness them without any more of a reaction or response then you have a clear signal it has been completed for you. That is priceless peace. When I see her on stage, or on TV, or in a video, I simply think, "Hmmm. Cute shoes." Then I get back to my priorities.
As all of this clears out, there is one more thing I've realized. By the time the truth rises, whenever or however or if that happens, I won’t even care anymore.
That's what the truth does for you spiritually and energetically - it sets you free from disillusions you don't want to connect with and then fortifies you even more at a core level. (Awakening Consciousness)
Practicing and implementing our spiritual work is hard at times, peeps. Please know you are not alone in those periods of hardship. We need to - have to - go through the emotional, egoic layers of it. No shortcuts here, and you wouldn't want them, anyways. Wherever there are shortcuts is where you have to go back and re-work something at some point. A lot of spiritual propaganda tells you to stay positive, practice affirmations, avoid negativity, and all that jazz -- please be careful which of those pills you swallow. The side effects can take you way off course. It all comes down to working with your own energy. In order to do that, you have to be honest and real with yourself without glossing over your own inner world and truth.
When we are conscious of what we feel and we can move through it with authenticity, we eventually come out on the other side with a huge stack of gorgeous gold nuggets. It is in our best good to take the higher path – and yet that can be a very lonely and quiet place. It can take a lot longer than you expect. Just one step at a time keeps you moving forward – and that’s all you need to commit to at times. One step today. One step tomorrow. And on it goes.
I’m sharing this story now because it’s energetically complete for me. I’ve grown and healed a ton from it; the emotional intensity has cleared out; it was heavy and now it is light. My intention is to offer this experience as an example of how our spiritual work and spiritual teachers show up in various forms. I hope it also helps you gain a new perspective on a hard situation or person you may be experiencing in your life, if you are looking for it.
A deeper part of me also hopes this story helps more people clear this energy in their own lives, if they are moving through a similar dark time, and to move through it with greater grace and trust.
No one can take away your energy - your purpose, mission, work, or energetic awesomeness, no matter how they are acting in their human suit. They are also God in human form. If you can find that part of them, you’ll find more peace in yourself and throughout the process. (Cosmic Consciousness)
You will have also changed your own energy when you carry that small piece of it in your pocket.
Changing your own energy shifts it all.
When it's over, remember to take the best, leave the rest, and know that very little of it really matters once you're on the other side. But some of the best stuff - the growing stuff - comes up in the yucky middle. How you move through it on a daily basis will matter most to your heart, sense of Self, and personal integrity. Stay in those places as best you can. And never doubt what a good cry, shout, and laugh can do to heal you up real good.
One of my favorite passages below is by a gentleman named Dr. Kent M. Keith as it offers a wonderful perspective to remember.
May it be of inspiration:
Thank you to all of you who have reached out with support, thoughts, and lovely words. I am glad to hear that my experience is helping you move through a similar ordeal where you feel powerless, targeted, or intentionally attacked. I sincerely hope this story helps you find more strength to carry on and take the best steps for you.
Please know that it is very fitting and appropriate to take legal action, especially in a work place or professional environment where you can report incidents to Human Resources, managers, and/or follow whatever the company's protocol may be. My situation is unique in many ways, but please do what YOU need to do to report any abuse, harassment, or harmful actions. There are ways to protect yourself.
And no, I am not going to share or publish this individual's name for a few reasons. The truth of someone's choices, including whether they really know what they claim to know, eventually catches up with them. And yes, in all honestly, I will probably enjoy a good, long smile when karma finally knocks on her door. If you figure out who it is, or think you know, please act with consciousness around the energy you create and put out into the world. I do not wish her intentional harm from me in return as that is not who I am.
Your power is always found in choosing who you are in a dynamic.
This is one of the FB posts that was reported to FB for removal. This quote from The Modern Heroine's Journey of Consciousness had over 26,000 shares and counting when I grabbed the screenshot, before it was taken down for unknown reasons after being reported by X number of people. It is not like FB wants popular content to disappear.
These 4 blog posts were originally written in 2011 and published on this website when it debuted. They were then added to my 2013 book, Conscious Messages: Spiritual Wisdom and Inspirations for Awakening. They should not be found anywhere else, and if so, each should be attributed to me as the author.
Be the Prayer You Wish to Receive (protected content)
Be the Silence That Allows You to Receive (protected content)
I started teaching the Universal Spiritual Laws in the fall of 2011 with a focus on how the Universe has your back and supports you; words I mentioned many times in my radio show over the years. This is one of the original pages on my website that is now hidden and all content has been removed. My version of the Universal Spiritual Laws includes astrology, unique channelings, connections to the Real World, and teaching exercises you can do to strengthen your energy.
I have been a practicing professional astrologer since 2009. I originally published astrology updates on this website for each New Moon and Full Moon, plus other key astrology insights. I stopped doing so when my reports were being copied by non-astrologers. Instead, I switched to astrology updates through a weekly podcast to share the updates.
I also share more teachings and stories on truth in my book, "The Truth Always Rises: Torches of Light for Life's Darker Passages".